So, here is an update about my “Dream Journal”. I am up to three to four dreams almost every night (sometimes every other night) and my journal is halfway full. It’s pretty crazy. I also noticed that the more I dream, the more its related to life goals or things in my life that I still have achieved but still working on. Its very stressful and also can be very irritating. Even though my dreams are coming in pretty clear and easier to understand they seem to be getting shorter and the shorter they are the more dreams I tend to have.
My “Dream Journal”
Most of the common topics I dream about are 1) unfinished business with a long friend, ex, or someone I rarely knew much about.(Relationships)
Honestly, this is the most hardest thing for me to fix. I am very terrible at rekindling relationships and forgiving people. There I said it, I am also very stubborn and can be very prideful. This is something I know is going to take time with and I’m sure I have a list of people who are probably still waiting for a simple apology or exclamation. Truth is I’m scared that if I was to open up my mouth about how I feel it could either make me feel better about myself and make them feel even worse then how they felt before. Then I’m considered a “Bitch” or worse. Maybe my criticism is too forward and I don’t know the correct way to “Kindly” and “politely” do it. So I guess you can say my communication is also pretty horrible. ..But if it helps I can’t take criticism that well either. Something else I willing to work on. There’s a list and the best thing for me to do right now is to take my time to complete it.
2) Friends from like elementary school I no longer keep in contact with (…And haven’t since…like ever),
This goes back to number one. I think your starting to understand what kind of person i was back then and honestly it wasn’t even like that it was more of me not explaining myself to others and communicating to them about my feels which I don’t understand why it’s relevant now. But then again, it could just mean “Life is short” and I shouldn’t wait to speak up and say how I feel. I never been the one to speak up. If anything I shut people out along with my mouth to avoid any kind of conflict. I hate conflict.
3) wealth, which this seems pretty pointless to me considering I am jobless right now or how I like to say, “Self Employed”.
Lets face it, It not an excuse but the struggle is real. I am a single mother trying to get by along with trying to place my daughter in one of the greatest schools in Texas. I want her her succeed and as a parent you always want to do whats best for your children and more. My daughter won’t be starting kindergarten till she’s six (due to her birthday being in September) and I’m not okay with that, honestly. She’s very smart and I’m sure you hear that everyday from parents and your like, “Yeah, Okay.” It not to say, that every parent knows the potential that their child has, every child is different. Anyways, my point is that maintaining parenthood as a single mother(or father, not a feminist here) by yourself and looking for a job thats flexible yet alone; okay with you being a single parent can make finding a perfect fit job for you very difficult. Our society, has grown over time to be the most selfish, uncaring, and greedy, inconsiderate nation and its only going to gradually get worse. I honestly, fear what my child is going to go though when she’s an adult. Now these days its honestly about money. Nothing else matters. Its “Love for money” or “Money for love” nothing in between and I’m guilty for this and if your saying you not your being a hypocrite or just not really thinking about it. I want more money to provide for my daughter. You want more money to pay all expenses, loans, school, for your family, and car. Its all about “Money” and honestly it sucks. I know that without money we would probably find something else to lust over. We loose money for not showing up for work.
4) Health, most of the time can be really scary to me.
I do however, do the best I can to keep myself healthy and fit by doing some yoga, healthy eating habits, and trying to stay active and watching less Netflix. (Sadly, I haven’t finished “OITNB,” Season three & its desperately killing me inside) Swimming is the new Netflix for me this summer.
A little yoga humor
Anyways, thats all for now. Happy Blogging and God Bless..
If anyone happens to know anything about dreaming or constantly dreaming the same thing please let me know. I really would love to hear/read you comments about it.
A Young Mom’s Blog